WHETHER YOU DO OR NOT IS A MEASURE OF YOUR LEVEL SELF WORTH

A little over two weeks ago I threw out ALL of my clothes.

Well, not quite all, but close to it!

I pulled three quarters of my clothes from my wardrobe, piled them into the boot of my car and took them to St Vincent De Paul.

Most of the clothes were in good to great condition.
Nothing at all wrong with them.
At least half of them were brand new.

But.

To me.
They were old.
I had outgrown them.

They belonged to a different stage of my life.
To a different version of me.
A version that no longer exists.

Keeping them was like holding onto the past.

Keeping them was like holding on to old beliefs around lack and self worth. Deserving.

Keeping them was allowing myself resist the flow of the abundance of new energy into my life.

Fast forward to the weekend just gone.

I hit the shops with a wallet full of cash and bought myself more clothes, mostly summer stuff, dresses, tops, etc.

Soft.
Flowing.
Feminine.

Anyway, I digress.

I go out almost every day to write. And the last two morning’s women have given me compliments on my dresses. On my appearance.

“Oh, that’s a lovely dress. Very summery. It looks great on you.”

“You look really nice!”

Of course, I replied with a very simple “Thank you.”, to both women.

The funny thing is.
Well.
Not really funny.

But.

Accepting compliments is something that is truly quite new to me.

It’s not something I’ve ever been comfortable with.
It’s not something I’ve ever really done.
It’s not something I was taught to do.
It’s not something that I ever learned to do.
It’s not something that comes easy to me.
It’s not something that feels natural to me.

ACCEPTING COMPLIMENTS ALWAYS FELT/FEELS AWKWARD!

You see. The thing is…

When I was younger my siblings would tease me about the way I looked.
And so would my ‘friends’.

They would play nasty tricks on me with my clothes.
They would say horrible things about my appearance.

And.

Thinking back, it seemed that like overtime I received a compliment, it was backhanded. Meaning that it was sarcasm designed to manipulate and/or insult.

And.

Thinking back to when I was married, my ex husband would give me compliments and then trip out and use that same compliment in a way to insult me, to make me feel smaller, to make me feel less than.

And.

Thinking back to when I used to work in hospitality, in pubs and hotels, and the customers would give me a compliment, which was merely there way of disguising their sleaze and sexual innuendo and intentions.

I got to a point where I’d hear what people would say and take absolutely no fucking notice of it.

I BECAME IGNORANT TO PEOPLES WORDS OF COMPLIMENT

Which also means…

That I became ignorant to people who offered me a genuine compliment.

I remember back about 8 years ago when I’d met up with a copywriter who did some work with me who had travelled from Melbourne to see her parents who lived not too far from me on the Tweed Coast.

Now, I don’t recall exactly what she’s said, but she gave me a compliment of sorts regarding my appearance AND I just sort of brushed it off. I took it as nothing.

But she had genuinely meant what she said.

I rudely (however, unintentionally so) ignored it.

And I recall she said to me:

“I just gave you a compliment, Laura. And you were very self deprecating. You really should learn to accept a compliment for what it is.”

I apologised and said that I really didn’t know how to respond when a compliment was given.

She said: “You simply say thank you!”

Her words struck me to the core.

They made me think deeply on the way I (don’t) allow myself to receive a genuine compliment.

And it took me back to years before when I was working in a local hotel in Broken Hill, married with two young children, and one of the guys who had been coming to the pub pretty much every single day for 6 or 7 months gave me a compliment.

And I did the very same thing.

I brushed it off.
I ignored it.
I pretended it didn’t happen.

A little while after that his mate came up to me and said that…

‘Simon was a little miffed because he gave you a compliment and you were very harsh toward him.”

Apparently, the reason the guy continued to come to the hotel was because he really quite liked me. He genuinely meant what he said.

But.

Still.

So many guys say stuff when you’re working in a hotel, but most of them don’t say nice things with any real sincerity.

So I thought deeper and deeper on the way I (again, don’t) accept compliments when I receive them.

And.

IT CAME DOWN TO A FEW MAIN CRITERIA

1. The person giving the compliment doesn’t genuinely mean what they’re saying.

2. The person giving the compliment is doing so sarcastically and doesn’t mean what they’re saying.

3. The person giving the compliment wants something in return (i.e. Hotel patrons wanting more than just a beer!).

4. The person giving the compliment will then use my acceptance of that compliment against me.

5. I am genuinely not deserving of that compliment.

And there it is.

The reason I’d not accept compliments given was because of belief systems that I’d created, that had been handed down to me, that my experience had taught me.

The reason I’d not accept compliments had a fucking lot to do with my level of self-worth, self-value, deserving.

And so much more.

So for a few years now I’ve been observing my behaviour, my reactions and responses when given compliments.

And, although I still find myself stepping into a place of conscious awareness when a compliment is given and assessing the conviction and substance behind said compliment…

Generally.

When I receive a compliment now, I simply say ‘Thank you.’

Admittedly, it’s been a tough nut to crack (read: habit to break) but learning how to accept a compliment when given for what it truly is has been a massive learning curve for me.

IT’S BEEN A JOURNEY OF GROWTH, EXPANSION AND AWARENESS

One that I’m very happy that I’ve experienced.
One where I know I still have a considerable amount of work to do.

But that’s all part of this game called life, isn’t it?!
That’s all part of our journey from the dark and into the light.
It’s all a part of becoming a more consciously aware and awakened being.

And I’m curious gorgeous badass…

Do you allow yourself to receive compliments when they’re given?
Or do you take them as being just words said with an ulterior motive and give them no credit?

Here’s the thing.

Allowing yourself to receive compliments actually goes hand in hand with allowing yourself to receive anything… Including abundance into your life.

Because it comes down to:

Your level of self worth.
Your level of self value.
Your level of deserving.

In effect.

It’s reflective of how you do (or don’t) allow yourself to receive things like:

Love
Happiness
Joy
Excitement
Fun
Money

And.

ABUNDANCE OVERALL!

In other words by not allowing yourself to receive compliments you are also blocking the natural energetic flow of all of THESE^ things into your life.

But more than that.

You are also blocking the natural flow of energy that allows you to manifest those things that you desire the most in your business and your life.

So, what do you say badass…

Is it time for you to revisit the way you (don’t) allow yourself to receive compliments?

Love, Truth & Badassery,
Remember… You Have One Life. Hit The Fuckin’ Button!

Lauz xx
Mindset & Online Empire Creation Mentor